JOINT FAMILY

 

family

Being the member of a big family, I have to meet many  of my relatives once in a month. The previous week was ‘visitors week’ for us. We had to entertain some of our relatives during this time. I didn’t get the time to be with my blog. We had to make food for them, we had to arrange many things for their comforts and we had to go with them to visit the old acquaintances. Somehow, it is an enjoyable thing. Our visitors were two nuns and they had been with us for almost one week. It was many years back they had a visit to the native place.

It is a pleasure to see some old relatives, we can share many things, we have a lot to talk to them and they have a lot to tell us. We can cook together with them, it is really nice to make special dishes for their happiness. After a short period they will leave us, but we will be remembered with love and affection. We have a lot to learn from such an atmosphere; respect to others, how to share our things and time, how to be patient and tolerant and we are learning to understand and adjust as per the situation.

But there are relatives, who may be intolerable, whom we may like to avoid. Recently, we have another cousin, who likes to involve and interfere in the life of others. Their family life may be full of nuisance, but without rectifying it, they are keen to interfere in other’s life. They may visit regularly with vested interests, they may ask about the bank balance, about our personal family matters etc.

We can have both the types of relatives in a joint family. We must be judicious, and cunning while dealing with them, it is advisable to think twice before plunging into an action. Cheating, favoritism, and hypocrisy all will be there in one family. 

But we can make it a heaven, with love, affection, respect, sincerity and co-operation. While having a self-respect, we should respect others and their feelings and suggestions. Recognition and encouragement, these two can strengthen our relationships. A happy family is a dream, that we can build with these qualities. 

See also : http://astraunic.com/2013/03/12/family/

http://astraunic.com/2013/02/19/family-day/

http://astraunic.com/2013/08/29/telephone-blessing-or-nuisance/

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship gift

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”These are the  famous quotes by Albert Camus,

While thinking about friendship, I like this the most. A true friend should be like that, he/ she should walk beside us to be with us always as the greatest and true support.

When will we all start making friends? A child’s schooling starts at 4 or 5 years of age. During the first days in school, they may be little worried as they are separated from their moms; but very fast they get engaged with friends. It is very interesting to see how they make friendships. A few kids will share what they have with their friends!  They will play and quarrel often, and their friendship is centered in that.

By getting older, relationships are becoming more matured and serious. Strong bonds are occurring during adolescence, still then, it will be a smooth relationship with so many children for playing. Play, play and play, that is their only interest, but it is innocent, they are learning the qualities of  sharing things, food, time, notes and everything between them. They may quarrel, but they can’t  be like that for long.  Both boys and girls will mingle freely and it is such a pure and innocent bonding.

Strong friendships are formed during teenage time. Though some make friendships with opposite sexes, most find strong relationships with their own groups.  What do we all like to get from a friend? We all seek for somebody to share everything, our happiness, sorrows, comforts, interests, likes and dislikes. He/ she will be the first person with whom we like to share what we have. In the same way, we expect such a behavior from our fiends too. Even if, we have many friends, each person keeps a stronger bond with someone else, our dear friend.

While selecting a good friend we should keep certain things in mind. Remember, you will be judged by your friends. If  you are having a friendship with somebody else, who doesn’t hold a good name in the society, you will also be judged like  that by the people. Similarly, a friend can influence our character formation. We will learn a lot and unknowingly we will follow some of his habits and deeds. Make friendship with a person, who values truth, sincerity and cooperation. He should stand with you when you are in need. He should have the will power to talk for you, if the situation demands so.

Deceit and cunningness  are the two sins that should be avoided in a true friendship. If you have wealth and reputation, lots of people may revolve around you.  They are not at all reliable, they may run away from you when you have a need. They are for your money. If it is lost, you will be alone. Don’t make friendship depending on money and power.

Sacrifice and service are the two essential qualities to keep up a true friendship. You should be ready to sacrifice anything for your friend,like that, you should be ready to give any service to your friend. Their you are materializing a strong, powerful and true friendship. Keep in mind,” A friend in need is the friend indeed”.

A Daughter- in- law.

 

Daughter in Law Gift Necklace

I am now with a different topic; it is relevant too. That is, about the relationship between women and their in- laws.

In most countries, at the time of marriage, the boy’s household expects something as a share from the parents of the girl. In some countries, household violence and mental torturing are occurring as a result of the dowry; the sweet name for this share.

A girl gets into the house of her husband ( even if it is an arranged marriage or  a love marriage), with lots of dreams and expectations. Most girls dream of leading a happy married life, with her husband and in- laws and of having kids and the like. She might have got advises from her mother too, about how to treat the in- laws.  While entering into the new life, she would think, I would love my in- laws just I love my parents, and would treat them with respect and affection. But, for that, one more thing is necessary; that is, the behavior of the in- laws; how they consider their son’s wife. In some houses, the girls are very lucky to have very loving in- laws, who consider their son’s wife as their own daughter.

But in many the daughter-in- law is attacked with words and looks and even with brutal torturing. Educated and aristocrat families are  not excepted. The bride is not allowed to talk to her parents privately; she might have a lot to tell; but she is not allowed. The in -laws will peep from each corner to hear it. For meeting the household needs, without any shame they will ask for her sovereigns. If she is not ready to give it, there they start the mental torturing. The husband will silently participate in it. He may behave as if he has nothing  to do. Working and earning women too have a lot to suffer. They need to look after the kids, the household duties and then the work. Nobody is willing to share her burden. Who is there to stand with her? Of course, there is lots of laws to prosecute the tortures, but most women silently tolerate all; for their kids and for the sake of other family members. Will the women ever escape from such burdens?. They will surely tolerate for their kids, it is their happiness, but she wishes  a care, a pat on the shoulder. After marriage, she is considered as a servant for doing all the household duties. She must bring money and she must sacrifice all she has and after that she must tolerate all the sufferings. Where is the justice?

It should be changed, woman should attain equal power and respect at families. It is not only the law that is to be changed, the attitude of each person should be changed. Hope for the better tomorrow.